胃痛

最近常常想起,那一年的冬日,在那个密闭的空间里。我忐忑不安地坐着,帮另一个人问着问题,说着口是心非的话,硬是把自己卷入困境。他坐在旁边,喝着咖啡,解释着。于是有了那一段为期8个月的自我折磨。后来我终于懂了,有些人的命运交叉点就仅仅在这么一瞬间,一但错过,就如两条平行线,从此渐行渐远,永不相交了。

可是,也是命中注定的吧,既使让我重头来过,还不是会做同样的事,说同样的话,爱同样的人。

U should never regret of who u loved, rite? Coz that person sort of reflecting who u were at the particular time~ but maybe, maybe after all these times, I would hold his hand that nite in the car and told him how I felt. It’s not about the person, it’s just… that I try my best even thought I might be got rejected, but then I might not be suffering for that long after that nite; or maybe I still would, but who knows, it doesn’t matter anymore.

The more exp u have,the more sympathetic u become towards certain ppl. When Jess told Celine on the car that he’s been having those nightmares, it touches sth inside of me and make me shiver.

“u were pregnant, and u were lying next to me, naked. U were so beautiful and I wanted to touch u so badly, but u told me not to; but I touched u anyway…”

I start to know that ” touch u anyway ” feeling, that urge to tell someone how much u wanna be with them even if it feels like u two are against the world or sth, but as a matter of fact, u r just against urself, ur heart and make everything more complicated. So easy to say but so hard to do. So u wait and refuse to take any actions even thought you wanna tell someone everything but you end up saying nothing; till u gradually realize that u missed ur shoot and u two both leads ur own separate journey ever after.

那天我发短信给qian,说两个人中至少有一个人应该知道自己想要什么,这样才不会如此纠结。我也是在对自己说的吧。



O well, even that bitch left the city, i still got irritated every time I heard someone mention her name, and that someone is my mum, farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

And I just realise, the ‘bitch’ is not just one particular person, it’s that type of people, one left and one appears in my life. FUCK. (BOLD, YES) ERRRRRR, every time i see that face, farrr, just feels NAUSEOUS! I mean, u gonna be kidding me,rite? How can I dislike someone to that extend? Ooo, but glad my girls have the same feeling towards it, wat a relief… that’s what best friend for!!!! We love and hate together!! LOL~~

But thank to fb, hehehehehhhehheheheheehehehehehehheehe, it just made my day even though I had a tough one and am still suffering from massive stomach!! OOO, now I just wish IT wont ‘drop’ by my blog at all, the feeling of that dirty thing read my blog makes me equally nauseous~~I blog for myself and for those I love, not for someone I hate to stalk me~~~


Alrite, enough is enough, tmr will be another tough day~~geeee, and it’s raining outside~~


我只能拥抱想像中的人。


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