Maybe it’s time to leave?
If Sydney become so unbearable, at least I have my Shanghai.
All the mistakes I’ve made those years, I know how dark, negative and imdifferent I have become. I cant see myself growing with this city anymore; Or have I ever become a better person since I came here?
I just dont feel anything, there’s no emotional attachment here. I’ve got all my childhood memories and friends in SH, most of my memories here are sad ones, or about the cold ‘adult’ life, how fake people are. I just can never feel the same way as I feel about SH, I never feel like home here. never. It’s always like a dream, a recurring nightmare I’ve been dreaming for 7 years and cant see the end. Sometimes I just wish waking up and find myself in SH.
I know I am lucky to have my parents here with me and have friends love me. Just I cant feel myself anymore. When Im scared (like last night after seeing that perv standing rite in front of me in the balcony), or vulnerable (like when I found out that email from uni jsut then)…
Life is hard, it always will be.