[受你之托]有些话我不得不说

神灯,醒一醒。你叫我写一些东西把你“骂”醒,不管是出于什么原因你觉得我有这个能力可以用一些文字把你从火坑里拉出来,I am very flattered for sure, 但有一点我是肯定的,就是你对你付出的感情有疑问,对你付诸感情的对象有怀疑,对这段还未成形的“感情”摇摆不定,举足不前。I realise how this post and what I have to say in it might have somewhat big impact on your next move. But all I have to say is, everything Im gonna write here is just ONE point of view, it is not THE point of view。我当然坚持我的立场,但人生的路,路上的十字路口你会做的选择,一定必须来自你自己。Unless I miraculously convince you with my opinion, you might well just do according to your own plan. But maybe coz sometimes, one need to know his friend’s honest opinion on certain issue, to make him see better of the whole thing. 从别人口中讲出的真相,有时候更无情更犀利,也相对更客观。 So I am gonna try my best.

我对你和她之间发生的事知道的不全,其实说实话,每次你上线讲起你们之间的“问题”,无非就是你想方设法挖空心思想要表达你对她的感觉,可是似乎都是空谷投石,没有回应。

To be HONEST, 我接下来要讲的话真的会很伤人,但请你相信我是你朋友,所以我才会讲出这种也许你自己心里知道但是不肯也不会去面对的事实。 She is way out of your league, that’s for sure. 我知道这样讲,有点不负责任,也很残忍,可是这是事实。就拿我和163的例子来讲,我今天终于决定要和他分手(至于原因,我会慢慢告诉你,或者我回上海见面说),但其实我们心里都知道,旁人也看在眼里,我和他站在一起,外表太不配了。当然我不是仅仅因此而决定放弃,但这是促使我放弃的原因之一。

也许每个人的故事都不一样,但作为女生,我很多时候真的觉得是‘委曲求全’和他在一起,我一边想I am creating a great story,励志动人;另一方面却想,I deserve so much better than this。你也知道我一直的纠结,我虽然说不介意他身高,可是我却没办法带他出去,没办法正视我和他站在一起玻璃中的反影。Maybe it’s just me being superficial, but I can ganrantee you that’s how she will feel, if you two were together. I mean, do not take it personally, I am your friend, I am proud of having a friend like you, you are kind,热心,talented and a great friend, always there for me, always very attentive and helpful. But when it comes to relationship, that’s a whole different story. As a girl, I cant help but feeling this way, not because I am mean, you know I am a nice person, but because I have certain expectations. 还有别人的眼光很多时候 somewhat contributes to how you see yourself as well. We are living in a society, we cannot escape from it.

你一再提到“不放弃”。可是不放弃是发生在同一国里的,飞鸟与鱼的故事只能存在于小说里。也许这些小说来源于生活,可是毕竟高于生活,did you see anything state the story based on a TRUE STORY? 没有嘛,所以都是虚构的,人们的美好愿望而已。正因为无法实现,所以才寄情于文字中。

至于在现实生活中,不是不可以有远大抱负,但试一下,两下,三下,如果不行,如果被拒绝,如果周围的人都不看好,如果自己也开始动摇,是不是是时候放手了?我不想说什么退一步海阔天空之类的屁话,海阔天空不会只是单纯地发生在退一步那个瞬间,是需要很多时间,时间是疗伤的最好方法。决定放弃,然后耐心等待。你有自己的生活,让自己充实忙碌起来,时间会把这些你对她的感觉带走。我相信你相信关于时间这一点的论证,你也经历过鉴证过,只是有时候你宁愿固执,也不愿意放手交给时间。

也许你会觉得你答应自己不放弃,但现在如果不坚持会很对不起自己。请不要钻牛角尖,所谓牛角尖就是dead end,你用力用错地方。人家很清楚表明她心里有人,姑且不去管她是为了让你死心才出此下策还是确有此人,总之无论什么理由都对你不利,都是叫你放弃。感情是双向的,如果有一方明确指出不可能,你觉得你的坚持会到海枯石烂奇迹出现的那一天么?

每个人都经历过单向的爱恋,我也是,这一种是最痛苦的。不要看别人冠冕堂皇地说什么“我爱你,是我一个人的事。”这些都是放屁,嘴硬有毛用啊?你爱她,她不爱你,她也不可能爱你,所以当然是你一个人的事,你一个人默默痛苦,当然不管别人的事。

那些灌输给你“要坚持自己真爱追求到底”的影像文字都是幌子,电影小说什么的最害人,荼毒广大民众身心,让犯傻变得高尚,固执变得伟大,at the end of the day, you become part of the story contributing to poison more people. Coz you are the victim of these and also the creator of these, giving others fake hope that even if this doesnt work out for you, as long as you keep trying, it will eventually work on someone else.

PLEASE DO NOT BE VICTIMISED.

这些是我大致的想法,今天有这个机会可以比较系统地讲出来,其实也是结合了我自身的体会,也许更有说服力,也许没有, I dont know. 但我只是希望,有时候,不要和大环境抗争,所有的条件都是aganist 你,包括她的工作要在不同城市奔走。这一切都是间接地帮助你move on的动力。

我觉得,做为一个人,无论男女,都应该自己先立定脚跟,再追求感情,不要用追随爱的理由而跟着到处跑,这样无论你的承诺是什么,都会显得很没有说服力。你现在回到上海,希望加油找到自己满意的工作,有些人有些事,到了时间就会出现发生,但是首先你必须放走不属于你的,把位子空出来。

 

对于她,我真的没什么好说的,因为完全不了解她。I dont think she’s doing anything wrong, maybe she’s innocent, so all I am suggesting is letting her go. Maybe you two can still be friends after you get OVER her. But right now, just let her go, let yourself live, dont contact her or try to follow her news during the healing process.

 

 

Like I said, this is just my honest point of view, hope that will help a little.

Advertisements

发表评论

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / 更改 )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / 更改 )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / 更改 )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / 更改 )

Connecting to %s